Deep SEE Treasure

In this economy, people will try all kinds of ways to make money. I had a fleeting thought after watching the movie Fool’s Gold. How about deep-sea treasure hunting? So I googled it just for fun and found out the last year, the Odyssey Marine Company hauled in 500 million in treasure raised from the sea floor in an undisclosed location in the Atlantic Ocean. WOW. . . I had to read on. Turns out that they had spent thirteen years prior searching for treasure, but this was the largest find by far. They down played this significant find by saying that although they are a publically traded company, they had shown significant losses in several years prior to uncovering this sizable plunder. This company was a business that spent years investing in research, robotics and edge cutting technology. So it turns out treasure hunting was an expensive science and not just luck. The romantic, comedy I watched wasn’t very accurate when the adorable, gorgeous Matthew McConaughey, loser surfer, husband, and part -time “treasure hunter” stumbles onto a marriage-saving, bountiful booty on the bottom of the ocean. After a few action packed struggles, all is right with the world and vola! . . . a happy ending. Marriage saved, treasure on display for all to see and it’s a win-win situation for everyone.

In this movie we see how this treasure ended up in the ocean in the first place. Real lost treasure usually ends up on the ocean floor because of a shipwreck, which most likely included loss of life, fear, grief and tremendous financial loss for the owners of the cargo. This tragedy occurs hundreds of years before this lucky strike for the modern day fortune hunters. A seafaring vessel like this may have started out with seasoned sailors on a fair day with visions of visiting exotic places and a successful delivery of a fortune to a designated destination. And in the end, fathers and sons who were experienced sailors meet with death through the actions of a violent sea and some deadly twists of fate. Who knows the measures that were taken to save the ship? What actions were taken? What items were thrown overboard in an attempt to lighten the payload to avoid taking on the water . . . water that would eventually fill every void and crevice of the ship’s hull. This was never the expected ending.

I pondered this irony and I thought about how much this parallels the relationships in our lives. When we start out in each of our relationships with others, it is usually such a sunny, fair, easy, breezy day. We expect the ending to be met with success and treasures of the relationship to safely kept, with little effort. What we don’t anticipate are the many storms of life and the experience and skills needed to effectively navigate a precious relationship to a safe harbor. I am not just speaking about romantic relationships, but also friendships that are entrusted to us to help us navigate life’s unpredictable journey. When we enter into a bond with another we may do so with the best of intentions. We think about all the richness that they bring to our lives. We may even consider all that we have to offer to them. But the value of the relationship is only determined by the blood, sweat and tears that we put into the ties that bind us together.

I am a relationship-dissection junky. Having a degree in Psychology and in Interpersonal and Group Communications, and a sanguine personality makes me addicted to questioning and hearing about successful and unsuccessful relationships. If someone allows me, I ask all the hard questions. What do you love about this person? What makes the friendship work? How did you come by the decision to value this person? If they are talking about a failed relationship or marriage, I delve deep for every detail. What, in your opinion, caused the demise in this relationship? What did you do to contribute to the success or failure of the break up or divorce? Are you different because of the relationship? And on and on, I grill those who want to talk . . . and sometimes probe those who really don’t want to share . . . or delve dangerously deep into the sea of pain of another.

But I am on a deep SEE treasure hunt. I really care about people and I want to hear and learn about what they have experienced, the good, the bad and the ugly. These are treasure secrets to me. I want to have flourishing, victorious connections and bonds with others. I cannot learn or hear enough. There are some similarities in what I hear. Some of these are alarming. Some of these are comforting. Sometimes the person sharing finds their own deep SEE treasure when speaking out loud about their relationship. The union with another soul is a treasure. It is to be guarded and cherished, nurtured and respected. Even if the relationship falls to the deepest fathoms of the ocean floor, someone else may discover something precious in the wreckage of deep SEE treasure.