Last night my daughter and I who love reality T.V. watched the brand new reality T.V. show, “Dating in the Dark”. The premise of this show is that three women and three men, with high compatibility ratings date in a pitch black setting like blind mice. It is an experimental environment to prove or disprove that people can fall in love or be attracted to each other without the influence of the out ward appearance playing a factor.
We found the show so interesting because both of us are into analyzing people and their interactions. Miriam is a college sophomore with a social work major and a minor in psychology, but she is also just starting down the dating path. (The Bachelorette, with Jillian, was another staple of T.V. these past few weeks.) Last night was the second show of the series and it had us talking. They took people with at least a 75% compatibility rating and placed them in a room with others on the first date. Naturally, the most compatible couples gravitated toward each other because they could only verbally joust and they could not initially judge by their looks alone.
Each of the men and the woman predictably picked a second individual date with the person that in the dark they liked the most. After a few more dates in the dark they were allowed to meet and see the other person in the light. Some of the men and women admitted that if they had seen the person first they would not have gravitated toward the compatible match for them.
My daughter found the outcome of the show very disconcerting. She and I are not your cookie cutter women. She is six feet tall and a very strong woman on the inside and outside. I am also almost six feet tall and when we are somewhere together we look like blond Amazon women.
She has a different personality than I have but the “apple does not fall far from the tree.” She is an observer and I am more of a participant in the social aspects of life. She has listened and learned from me and my love of relationship interactions. I like to say that she has picked up and started where I have just begun in dealing with life and interactions with others. We are very open, as I was with my mother and we discuss our dealings with people we encounter freely.
My daughter is sharp, introspective, analytical, a powerhouse and unreservedly speaks her mind with wisdom. When she speaks with love, it is commanding and the truth of it can sometimes sting. As a rule, she uses her tongue and prophetic gifting wisely and respectfully, but she is not perfect. I esteem her opinions and thoughts and admire her ability to communicate truth without the fear of what others will think about her. She loves others, but does not let them “despise her youth.”
Last night, I had to assure her as her mother and before God, that He created her to be loved by someone, just as she is . . . no need to be just like everyone else. God created diversity in beauty and personality for His glory. She didn’t need to worry about not ever finding the “right one”. I explained that the media makes it appear that only the perfect looking “cookie cut” girl ever finds true love. But if that were true, all the beautiful movie stars would never get divorced. Another advantage to being unique is that the “surfacey” types will pass right by, leaving the “deep” and heart seekers out in the open.
Inside of all of us is the need to be loved and accepted for who we really are and how we look, even at our worst. It’s normal but we all long to hear that someone will truly love us. It’s interesting that according to Psalm 139:13, we were created in the dark. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.” Well, maybe we can all rest a little easier if "dating in the dark" becomes the next, latest, greatest trend, only because it finally stresses to the world the importance of beauty being more than skin deep. We need to be constantly aware of the fact that we should look into the hearts of one another and not just on the outward appearance.
“Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man.”
Joseph Joubert
We found the show so interesting because both of us are into analyzing people and their interactions. Miriam is a college sophomore with a social work major and a minor in psychology, but she is also just starting down the dating path. (The Bachelorette, with Jillian, was another staple of T.V. these past few weeks.) Last night was the second show of the series and it had us talking. They took people with at least a 75% compatibility rating and placed them in a room with others on the first date. Naturally, the most compatible couples gravitated toward each other because they could only verbally joust and they could not initially judge by their looks alone.
Each of the men and the woman predictably picked a second individual date with the person that in the dark they liked the most. After a few more dates in the dark they were allowed to meet and see the other person in the light. Some of the men and women admitted that if they had seen the person first they would not have gravitated toward the compatible match for them.
My daughter found the outcome of the show very disconcerting. She and I are not your cookie cutter women. She is six feet tall and a very strong woman on the inside and outside. I am also almost six feet tall and when we are somewhere together we look like blond Amazon women.
She has a different personality than I have but the “apple does not fall far from the tree.” She is an observer and I am more of a participant in the social aspects of life. She has listened and learned from me and my love of relationship interactions. I like to say that she has picked up and started where I have just begun in dealing with life and interactions with others. We are very open, as I was with my mother and we discuss our dealings with people we encounter freely.
My daughter is sharp, introspective, analytical, a powerhouse and unreservedly speaks her mind with wisdom. When she speaks with love, it is commanding and the truth of it can sometimes sting. As a rule, she uses her tongue and prophetic gifting wisely and respectfully, but she is not perfect. I esteem her opinions and thoughts and admire her ability to communicate truth without the fear of what others will think about her. She loves others, but does not let them “despise her youth.”
Last night, I had to assure her as her mother and before God, that He created her to be loved by someone, just as she is . . . no need to be just like everyone else. God created diversity in beauty and personality for His glory. She didn’t need to worry about not ever finding the “right one”. I explained that the media makes it appear that only the perfect looking “cookie cut” girl ever finds true love. But if that were true, all the beautiful movie stars would never get divorced. Another advantage to being unique is that the “surfacey” types will pass right by, leaving the “deep” and heart seekers out in the open.
Inside of all of us is the need to be loved and accepted for who we really are and how we look, even at our worst. It’s normal but we all long to hear that someone will truly love us. It’s interesting that according to Psalm 139:13, we were created in the dark. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.” Well, maybe we can all rest a little easier if "dating in the dark" becomes the next, latest, greatest trend, only because it finally stresses to the world the importance of beauty being more than skin deep. We need to be constantly aware of the fact that we should look into the hearts of one another and not just on the outward appearance.
“Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man.”
Joseph Joubert
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