Investments

We can have investments that we watch grow and wane in this economy. The only investment that counts is loving and encouraging others. The one thing we can take into eternity is the lives we invest in and take to the next world is people. The other night I sat and talked to a soldier in our Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder (PTSD) unit. It is a crisis unit full of soldiers from all over the country. He had been over there (IRAQ) many times and now he was trying to make it in the “real world”. He could not put the two together. He couldn’t tell his family what he had done over there and what had been done to him. He was scared to go on. He was breaking down and was full of anger. I didn’t know how the end of the night would work out. There were moments when I felt real fear. I was with a “killer”, a person that stated plainly that he could not adjust to coming home. I read his chart quickly. I was on the unit alone that night. Fourteen soldiers and me . . . I was hoping that they would all be o.k., including me. There are many times when I am afraid. This was one of those times.

This soldier, let’s call him “John”, could not sleep. He hadn’t slept since he came back from Iraq the last time. He loved his kid, his wife, the army and his men. How did he end up in this PTSD unit? He was angry. He could really tell what was going on inside him. He was only 26, my son’s age and married one year. He was not able to understand what he was thinking or feeling. He had two emotions. Anger and non-anger were the only two things he could comprehend. He meant to be a good man and a good soldier. Isn’t that what we all want? We all wish to be a “good soldier” and a good person. We all miss the mark. We all fail. Do we ever invest in others and tell them our feelings and thoughts? Honestly, there are times when we are all lost and alone. I shared this with “John” and he was shocked. He thought he was the only one who felt how he felt, alone. He didn’t realize that other’s felt the same way he did. He was isolated and alone in his mind, body and soul. As I listened and talked to him, it was like talking to my own son. Even though I knew that he had been through hell and back, I knew that he wanted all the things that every good man wanted . . . he wanted to be a good husband and father . . . he was lost for a way to find a way to get back to a “normal” life.

We need to invest in people. They are the only things that we can take with us in the journey of the life. Let’s just admit to each other that we all feel anger and non-anger. Anger is so powerful and frightening. We feel anger and don’t see that it is just fear, frustration, anxiety, disappointment, or more. Only some of us can see the true emotions. There are a few of us that have the privilege of interpretation of that unbelievable power of anger. I was “tap dancing” that night. He made it clear that he was about to “blow”. He had it with life and all the ups and downs. He was secluded in all the thoughts and feelings he was having. I truly heard him and could so relate. He longed to feel “normal”. There are no “normal” feelings in this life. We all feel isolated and alone at some point in our journey in life. Let’s just face the truth! What is the right answer in this and every situation we face with others? Who is out there with us?

Let’s just all speak love by our actions and being a “soft place” for others to fall into and let them know that they are not alone. There are so many others that have not been to war but they feel a warring in their souls. “Am I o.k.?” “Am I alone?” “Do others like me feel the same things I feel?” The answer is “yes”! Your feelings are normal no matter how different your circumstances are. . . We want to feel normal. What is it? What is normal? Is there hope for me? Can I go on? Yes, you can is the right answer. There is not only hope for you but there is more for you to do. You can make it. You will live. You can work on honesty and hope. They go hand and hand. Honesty and hope are the greatest investment you can make no matter who you are. Just let it flow. Listen and encourage. Listen and love. Don’t be shocked. It could always be you in whatever situation. It could always be you, except for God’s grace.

I talked to “John” for six hours. And when it was the end of my shift, I knew that I had listened and spoke all the words God had to given me to speak. The next night I came in and I grabbed “John’s” chart. He had attended every group and the mental health technicians and nurses had charted that he had changed. He was trying and had attended every group and seemed happy. You know what made the change? It was someone listening and not being shocked. It was him seeing himself as someone that could go on. . . but not only go on, but be “normal” again if he just faced the “giants” in his life and worked with the crap and the good cards that had been dealt him and still believed in the goodness and grace of God and others. Just like all of us, he needed an “investment”. He needed to dump out all the garbage of his life and have someone invest hope and softness into a hard, difficult life. Instead of fear on that night, I wish I would have seen “potential” and amazing grace. In spite of my fear, God took my small effort and matched it with His glorious grace and produced “HOPE” in a lost soldier, a man who had lost his way for a short time. “John” is going to make it. I believe that! I have to believe that. I watch his chart and see all the others charting on him. They say he is positive and working on his program and recovery. An angry man is starting to change. I love to think that this change is because I loved and invested in him the unconditional love of God and the love of another who didn’t do everything perfect or right. I was just someone who listened and cared. I invested in the future of someone that I hope I met on the other side. Maybe it is not just me but whatever. . . I am so ecstatic to see the amazing change. These are the investments that could pay off for generations. Safe investments, in this economy . . . other people! Just do it. Invest in people. Help bring others out of harm’s way . . . shepherd those you can. Invest!