Arm Chair Quarterbacks

“Football is an honest game. It's true to life . It's a game about sharing. Football is a team game. So is life.” Joe Namath

Armchair Quarterbacks!  Those awesomely brilliant, omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent,  people who sit safely on their high horse or in their padded, leather, lazy boy with their footrest supporting their relaxed uninvolved body, mind and spirit. They know it all and can tell you from an objective, hindsight 20/20, foresight unfettered with emotional empathy, point of view, and fatted-calf full of what "you should of, could of, would of done in the past and what you can, can't, won't, will, should do next, now or in the future.

Why do we put up with them or humble ourselves  under their mighty, mushroom cloud of opinion. They rob our energy, sap our strength and blow out any of the grace, and unfailing love God is trying to, or has deposited or downloaded into the situation and His beloved  child walking alone through the darkest of night.   

So why do we do it? Why do we ask for help and advice? Somewhere in our lives we reach a series of road blocks, heartbreak, disasters, life altering situations, etc. and we know that we can't go on alone. Just like in Pilgrim's Progress, like Christian, there are times when we travel alone and times where we long, ache and plead to be able to travel with Hopeful or Faithful, because "two are better than one".  Our hearts cry out for a "Jonathan" to give us, "David", a clue, advice, " should we stay or should we go?" We stand in the field of decision or the valley of despair looking, staring and wishing for help from a friend.

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. "(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 KJV) All that to say that there is something built deep with in us that does not like "being in the shadow of death" or the "trials by fire"  by ourselves. 

We were built for real relationship not the fake, "How are you? Fine, thanks for asking", bull shit* that is all around us. In the church, work, neighbors and sometimes even family, we cannot always be ourselves and communicate the depth of our despair because of the sanctimonious platitudes that will shoot more arrows into our already bleeding spirit, soul, mind and body. Sometimes we are not honest because the audience we are surrounded with will only be able to see our words through their well-rested, well-fed, well-loved,  "high on life" and God entity that defines them. 

Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good people with no experience in empathy or embracing the hurting think it is their job to judge, instruct, educate or evaluate the plays and strategies put in place by the broken hearted so they can exist for one more day.  

We all do it sometime. I remember watching the movie of the guy who had to cut off his arm off to get out of dying, trapped in the desert, under a rock. I kept thinking, "why didn't he tell someone where he was going? How dumb!" Who knows why he really didn't tell anyone. He asked himself in the movie the same questions. Did that really have anything to do with the solution or his future. At one point I found myself unable to watch the screen because I  couldn't stand to see him suffer anymore. Maybe that's why armchair quarterbacks fall so easily into their role of spewing their septic speech.  They just want to see winners and look away from the loses and the losers.  Their formulas work for them and the "team" around them so they vomit them out for all of those in earshot. 

Unfortunately, no matter how loud they yell, the player on the field cannot possibly be helped by those devoted arm chair quarterbacks. They live in two different worlds and realities. The quarterback is fighting a battle on blades of grass and puddles of dirt and chalk. He is trying to remember perfectly the play book solutions but there are times when he just has to call it, win or lose, he is in the game. He is in the game! No matter the beating, the pain, the score, he has to get up and call a play. As the real quarterback, huddles up with his team, the arm chair quarter back, cracks open another beer. I would rather be in the game and take my chances with just calling a "play"! At least we are still playing!

*Look up definition of "bull shit". It fits.